It came somewhat out of the blue. There were signs I should have seen but I was pretty naive at the time. After listening to my boss degrade me for 30 minutes and trying to convince him I wasn’t everything he was saying I was, I was officially told to leave the building and not come back. Looking back I wish I would have just said “take this job and shove it” and left with my head held high. I did not have the confidence or self-esteem to ever say that to anyone back then.
I grabbed my purse, jacket and a few personal items and rushed out the door while trying not to hyperventilate. Little did I know my step out that office door was the first step on the path to becoming the CEO of Me®.
I was 25 and living on my own with very little money in the bank and lots of bills on their way. To put it simply, I was terrified. Most of all, I felt like a failure. I had worked at this job for 5 years. I was salaried so I ended up working a lot more than 40 hours a week and not getting extra pay for it. I had given so much time, energy and effort to this job and I put up with some difficult people and situations. I wasn’t perfect, I know I made mistakes. I was young and maybe not mature enough yet for the high-end clients we dealt with, but I always tried to do my best.
It was just plain devastating for me to be fired. My boss made me feel like the worst person who ever walked the earth. He made me feel like I would never be able to get another good job or show my face in this town again. I have always dealt with feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough and feeling like I didn’t fit in. Being fired seemed to confirm those fears.
That day, I felt completely broken, confused, terrified and beaten down. I walked around in a daze for the first few days. I kept trying to rationalize things and figure out how to get my job back. I didn’t really want my job back, I just didn’t want people out there saying or thinking bad things about me. (Talk about majorly low self-steem and people pleasing problems.)
Through the fear and the pain though, somewhere inside of me, there was this whisper, this hope, this determination. It was this little whisper reminding me of the dreams I had from when I was a little girl. This little whisper telling me maybe this was my chance to do something more with my life, to be someone more.
Erma Bombeck said: “There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, “Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.” Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they’re still there.”
That was me, I had put my dreams in a box on the shelf. I didn’t think I could achieve them. Worst of all, I had let myself come to believe the lie that I didn’t deserve to live the life of my dreams.
I decided that this would not be the end of my story. I decided that I was not, could not, and would not go back to a corporate job again. I was going to make it on my own. I was going to go for my dreams. I was going to be more than a nobody at a desk in an office whose boss yelled at them all day long. I was going to use my talents and my unique personality to make a difference.
I didn’t know how it was all going to happen or where this path was going to take me. I just knew I was willing to do whatever it took to not have to go back to the corporate world. I knew in my heart that God had a plan.
Martina McBride’s song “This One’s for the Girls” felt like my anthem. I literally was “the girl that was twenty-five, In a little apartment, just trying to get by. Living on, on dreams and spaghettio’s, Wondering where her life was gonna go.”
Losing my job led me to working my direct sales business as a business and earning a full time income working from home within just a few months. Not only that but I gained confidence, self-worth and made so many amazing friends. It gave me the CEO of Me lifestyle that I had always dreamed about but never would have had the courage to pursue had I not been fired. It showed me how strong I was, where my real skills and passions were and helped me be able to inspire and empower others to go for their dreams too. You can read more about my journey here and how I help others go from struggling to successful as a Coach now.
I had no idea that one of the worst things that ever happened to me would turn out to be one of the best things that had ever happened to me. These past 12 years have taken me down some amazing paths, some good, some bad and some great. I wouldn’t trade a mile of it or who I am today because of it all though. So many of my wildest dreams have come true! Now I dream bigger than ever because I know that I can achieve whatever I put my heart into and work hard for.
If you are one of those girls or women who is living on dreams & spaghettio’s just trying to survive, I hope my story inspires you. I hope you can listen to that little whisper from your heart telling you that you are meant for more, that you deserve happiness and that you can achieve your dreams, because you can. Keep believing, keep working & one day you can tell your own amazing story of going from struggle to success too.
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Do you ever feel like everything is going against you in trying to reach your goals for your life or business? That you have tried it all and nothing is working? Instead of growing, your life or business (and your confidence) is shrinking? Do you ever wonder why you’re doing this in the first place? Do you ever feel like throwing in the towel and calling it quits?
If you do, you aren’t alone. I have felt that way several times. I’ve been doing this CEO of Me thing since 2005. It’s had highs and lows but even when I feel like jumping off the ride, I know things will even out, settle down and start working again soon if I simply hang on.
I know this because I’ve seen it work that way time and time again, for myself and for others. I also know that there is no success without failure, there is no confidence without fear and there are no rewards without sacrifice. It’s part of the process.
As difficult as it is, we have to learn to trust the process and grow through our difficulties instead of giving up. It’s okay to have bad days and even weeks just make sure you don’t let yourself stay in that bad place for too long.
Here are 5 things I have learned about how to work through difficult times in your business (and life):
1. Take a step back and rest. If you are feeling overwhelmed and like nothing is going right, sometimes the best thing you can do is simply take a step back. Give yourself some space and time to rest, to renew and refresh. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of your business and others. Often times when we are in the middle of a difficult situation, all we can see is what is front of us. Take a short break. When we take a step back and get ourselves out of that frustration, we can see the bigger picture and new ideas and paths will show up for us.
2. Go back to your vision & your why. When you take your eyes of the road, you start going over the lines and often times end up wrecking your car. It’s the same way in your business. If you take your eyes off your vision, your goals, your why and your purpose, you’ll start to get off track and end up in a ditch of despair before you know it. Revisit your vision, if it doesn’t resonate anymore, create a new vision board, new goals and a new plan for success. Take some time to write out your 30 day or 90 day or 12 month vision for your life and business. Reconnect with what makes you feel excited and passionate and purposeful. Keep focusing on your goals, don’t look any direction but straight ahead.
3. Get out of your head and get into momentum. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie After you have taken a break and refocused on your vision, take action. Don’t overthink the action you take. Do something positive to move yourself forward. Start in an area that comes easy to you, that you enjoy and that you know you can get some quick results and wins with. This will help you feel a sense of accomplishment and get the momentum going so you can start to feel more positive about your life and/or business.
4. Reach out for help and support. Everything feels worse than it is when we try to handle it by ourselves. You don’t have to go through the tough times alone. Reach out to a team member, your upline, a fellow direct sales sister, a friend, a family member, get support in the FB groups and coaching programs you are part of or join one like my Success Club community. You are not the only person to have these struggles and it doesn’t make you any more brave to try to get through it by yourself. Be willing to accept support, encouragement and help. In doing so you can make some great connections, friends and accountability partners. You will also realize that others go through the same struggles and be able to learn and gain confidence from their experiences.
5. Focus on serving and helping others. Nothing gets my mindset and purpose reset like doing something for someone else. Fear can be a selfish thing because it makes us only focus on what might happen to us. When we focus on helping and serving others, we are able to push past that fear and not worry so much about the outcome because it’s no longer about us. In all my years being self-employed this has always caused the biggest shift in getting my business, my confidence and my passion lit up again. “We rise by lifting others.” – Robert Ingersoll Serving others reconnects and realigns my mindset, energy and actions with my purpose and mission.
You aren’t alone. We are all on the same journey, just at different places with different stumbling blocks and paths we are going down. Keep taking the next step and stay focused on your vision and reaching your goals.
PS. Want to learn how to step into your most confident self and create your best life? Sign up here for my CEO Shift Challenge.
In October 2006 the best and the worst thing happened to me. On a beautiful, crisp autumn day I was called into the board room at the company I worked for and heard those two words Donald Trump has made famous: