When your biggest fear happens – How to bounce back
I had an experience with dealing with a huge fear last night that I felt like I needed to share because someone out there needed to be encouraged today. If you struggle with fear or disappointment, this might be meant for you so I hope you will read on.
Last night I had a webinar scheduled that I was so pumped about that totally did not go as planned, in fact it kind of turned into a disaster. I recently committed to being more visible and doing more training and webinars to be able to reach and help more of my tribe. I planned the webinar sort of last minute and really did not promote it that much but I was thrilled to have over 600 register and get the chance to connect with so many people on a topic I know Direct Sellers struggle with – Overcoming Fear & Gaining Confidence.
I know this is a struggle because of the conversations I have with my tribe, the questions I see posted and most of all because of what I have went through in my own life and business. I’ve been open about my struggles with anxiety and depression and a lack of self worth – especially in the beginning years of my business and how it held be me back from being as successful and happy as I could have been. I am so passionate about helping you guys go from stressed to confident and couldn’t wait to pour an hour’s + of training and inspiration out to those who registered for the webinar.
10 minutes before the webinar began I sat down to login and my internet went out. Then before I could get my modem reset and try to get back online, my website had crashed because so many were trying to access the webinar. My cell phone coverage is spotty here sometimes so I was having trouble trying to even get to Facebook and my email to let everyone know what was going on. Then hundreds of emails started pouring in, FB messages and even some texts about it and I felt like everything was caving in on me.
It was a mess and I was so frustrated. To make matters worse, when I finally could get online and send an email saying it would be rescheduled, I put the wrong date in the email! (Right day of the week, wrong numerical date)! (Slapping my forehead here!)
My biggest fear in business (and life) was happening right then and there in front of my eyes: disappointing people and having people thinking I am incompetent. I’ve spent years working on overcoming this but it still bubbles up from time to time and last night it overflowed. I could not believe the irony of it all – here I was about to do a training on Overcoming Fear and my biggest fear was coming at me like a freight train!
I’ll admit I cried a little, partly from frustration & just plain disappointment that something I was so excited about got so messed up but the other part was from that fear. That fear telling me that everyone was going to be mad at me, that they wouldn’t attend another webinar, that they wouldn’t think what I had to offer was valuable anymore, that they wouldn’t trust me because there was a technical issue that was out of my hands and because I made a little bitty typo on an email.
Thankfully because I know how to deal with fear now and have tools and processes I use to help me overcome it, I was able to bounce back and calm down pretty quickly before a full blown panic attack set in. I also saw the humor in it and knew those thoughts were irrational and I needed to jump off that runaway train before it took me to Self-Sabotage Town.
Have you ever had your biggest fears actually come true? Reached out to your friends about your new business and didn’t get the support you hoped for? Have a big party or online event planned and no one showed up or those who did, didn’t purchase anything? Ever sent out an email with the wrong info in it to your customers? How about had a bad day and took it out on a team member or customer? Have people unlike your FB page or unsubscribe from your email list? Ever set a big goal to earn a company prize, work super hard but miss it by just a few sales or recruits? Try to work on more of a schedule and be consistent in your business but continue to procrastinate? Ever set a personal goal to save money or lose weight or do something out of your comfort zone but chicken out?
I’m here to tell you that everyone, at every level of business experiences fear and disappointment too. Success does not happen without failure. No one gets to the top in any career or achieves anything worthwhile without stumbling along the way and without overcoming obstacles. (You can read any biography of any successful person to verify that.)
If you are dealing with fears that you feel like you cannot move past or if you are feeling disappointed in yourself or let down by circumstances that did not go your way, I want to encourage you today to pick yourself up. Take a deep breath and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’ve got this. You are more than your fears. You are not defined by your struggles. Your struggles are there to help strengthen and prepare you for the amazing future ahead of you.
There are 2 key things that help me overcome my fears and disappointments. ( I’ll be sharing more about this and many other tools on the rescheduled webinar). First of all is knowing without a doubt what my own personal definition of success is and that is not tied to a $, # or other people’s opinions. Second is having a mission that I am so passionate about that nothing can derail me from pursuing it. When I remember what those 2 things are, I am able to still move past those fears, even if my ego & my heart are a little bruised for a while.
My mission is to help anyone who comes into my path to feel more confident in exactly who they are and to empower & encourage them to live in the more. (More joy, happiness, abundance, achievement, confidence, more whatever their own definition of success is.) This keeps me going and it’s why I will still do this rescheduled webinar Thursday even if I have to just do a FB Live and I’ll continue to share, connect, train and pour myself out into other entrepreneurs regardless of the fears and disappointments that happen to me along the way.
One of my favorite quotes is by Randy Pausch. He says: “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
You are going to be tested. You are going to hit speed bumps, you are going to fall flat on your face. You may even run into brick walls that you can’t see past. But like Randy says, those brick walls are not there to stop you, they are there to show you how bad you want it and allow you to overcome your struggles while others give up. You’ve made it this far and you’ll make it through whatever else may happen.
I hope that if you registered for the webinar, that you will still attend or watch the recording after. (Or if you haven’t that you will register here.) I am adding more content to it and have SO much to share to help you be able to bounce back quicker and be more confident in who you are and your own personal mission. I’m grateful for this mess with the first webinar attempt because I can turn it into a message to help even more people!
Most of all, I hope you realize that we are all human, including me. None of us is perfect and shouldn’t strive to be. I tell those in my Mastermind that “we don’t do perfect here, we do our best & if we don’t do our best today, we just try to do better tomorrow.”
You deserve to move past your fears & be able to live in the more because you have a mission and a message that someone out there needs to hear too. Get out there & shine your light!
With all my appreciation & encouragement to live in the more,